i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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