You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
operation have a gay friend backfired
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
