This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
