Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
