woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
