That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
