dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
