I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
