Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
