Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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