my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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