Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
