I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
