no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
