Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
