So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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