I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
