I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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