I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I want to make a zoo with you.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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