im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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