I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
