Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
