My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
