Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
