Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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