I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
