how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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