In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
