Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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