Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
