the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
