There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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