I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
