Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
