i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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