On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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