I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
