so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
birth control should be required to get into college
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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