Nicole vs. Life
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
