i think my tv is drunk
You smell like stripper and shame
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize