she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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