Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
