Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Found the puke drawer
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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