K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
