pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
