Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
