I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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