You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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