yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
