You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
