its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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