If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
