In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize