Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
