And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
