you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
there is glitter all over my balls
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
