walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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