UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
