Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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